Conflict Management: When Bob and Karen Can’t Even Sit in the Same Meeting
You’ve dealt with deadlines, budgets, and risk logs… but nothing tests your patience like two team members who can’t stand each other.
Meet Bob and Karen. (Names changed to protect the guilty.)
Bob rolls his eyes every time Karen speaks.
Karen “forgets” to CC Bob on important emails.
And somehow, you are the referee in this office boxing match.
1. Accept That Conflict Happens
Every project is stressful. People get protective of their time, their work, and their egos.
Conflict isn’t a failure — it’s normal. The trick is how you handle it.
2. Don’t Let It Fester
Ignoring conflict is like ignoring a leaky faucet — sooner or later, the floor’s flooded.
If you see tension, address it early before it explodes in the middle of your status meeting.
3. Listen First, Judge Later
Everyone wants to feel heard. Sometimes, letting each person vent (separately at first) is enough to calm things down.
Pro tip: Nodding and saying, “I hear you,” works wonders — even if you’re silently planning your grocery list.
4. Keep It About the Work, Not the Person
When emotions run high, redirect the focus:
- Bad: “Karen is impossible to work with.”
- Good: “We’re struggling to align on deliverables.”
This keeps the conversation from turning into a middle school cafeteria fight.
5. Know When to Escalate
If Bob and Karen are still at each other’s throats, it may be time to call in a manager, HR, or at least someone with more authority than you.
You’re a project manager, not a therapist.
6. Celebrate Small Wins Together
Sometimes the best cure for conflict is reminding people they’re on the same team.
A shared deadline, a small success, or yes — even donuts in the break room — can build goodwill.
Closing Thought
As a volunteer-told PM, you’ll quickly discover that managing conflict is just as important as managing tasks.
Because at the end of the day, if Bob and Karen can’t sit in the same room, your project doesn’t stand a chance.
This was Chapter Ten of The Bible of the Volunteer-Told Project Manager.
Stay tuned for Chapter Eleven: “The Dreaded Go-Live: Champagne or Fire Extinguisher?”